The One Where We Are Public Again

Full disclosure- I never figured out how to add people to be able to keep the blog private. I am pretty sure the hype about the published article has died down, so we are open for business again. But please keep it cool, people. If I start to get new weirdos in addition to you regular weirdos, I am going to have to re-think the whole privacy thing again.
So much to catch you up on.

Not Cafe Rio, but really, what compares?

I'll give a quick re-cap.
Last month, Elder Wadley and I set a goal together to fast for him to be able to find an investigator to teach, and follow them all the way through to baptism. Indiana is a relatively hard mission, so this is kind of a lofty goal we have set. "We" meaning mostly him.
In the LDS church we believe in the law of the fast. You can read a little more about it here: Fasting and Fast Offerings. 
In a nutshell- every first Sunday of the month, we opt to go without food or drink for a 24 hour period. Then, the money we would have spent on those meals is donated as an offering to humanitarian efforts. As we deny ourselves of physical needs, we are able to focus more on spiritual things.
Honestly, it is really hard for me to go without food- I just love it so much. I am trying to gain a testimony of fasting, and it is coming little by little. Interestingly enough, science has recently proven health benefits of intermittent fasting, something we have done in the church for a couple hundred years. Science says that as our body systems "take a break" from the efforts of digesting and distributing food, repairs are made on the brain. My brain needs repairs.
Anyhooo.
I mailed Elder Wadley a case of candy bars and some note cards in hope of him handing them out, and maybe coming into contact with people he may not have otherwise. That was my contribution to this goal, along with fasting and prayer.
Here was his e-mail this week.
This was a Christmas miracle in itself, because I have NEVER gotten a real e-mail like this from him, you can all testify to that. My comments added.

​this week was awesome we saw a couple miracles while finding (street contacting) we met an awesome couple while helping a guy who fell on some ice (he was okay) and they had a lot of questions about the church it was really awesome as well as last night we were finding and decided to knock on what was our last door and as we were talking to the guy the police came (someone called the police on the missionaries! He said it happens all the time in Indiana. They just end up explaining who they are, and why they are walking around in suits) and the guy thought it was really cool that we weren't embarrassed about the cops showing up and invited us to come back it was cool. also for shayne leaving on his mission (Elder Brendan's younger brother has been called to serve in Modesto, California and leaves tomorrow) the mtc blows but sending him with cereal is a good idea that way he doesnt have to wait in line on sundays or whatevs also you know how you sent me black golf slacks a long while ago well they blew apart this week and im in desperate need of some now thats cool you met Santa

So I am kind of hoping that one of these investigators are actively searching for the gospel. Praying and fingers crossed. Stay tuned.

Elder Wadley has been transferred to Michigan. He is so stoked about this change. It is bitter cold and he is in his element. He's not right, that boy. He used to go on winter Scout camp-outs without a coat. On purpose. He likes the cold. Does not get that from me.

Why can't he zip up that coat?

Diamond Lake, Michigan

His last area he actually broke out the old bike that we sent him out with. And apparently he put some miles on that hog. According to Klisse Foster he has lost enough weight that it was hard for her to spot him at the most recent mission conference.

He is back in a car in Michigan.

yeah its a mini van super sexy which reminds me what are the odds you can send me a soccer mom sticker

So yeah. And while cruising in the mission mini-van, they found satan's parking space.

 In case you thought Satan parked at your local Costco on Saturdays.

The One Where We Go Private

So hey, internets.
My last couple posts here caught the eye of some people at LDS Living magazine. They asked me to write an article based on my experience with not having a "cookie cutter" Elder.
They described my writing as "raw" and "relatable" which I believe is editorial code words for "She kind of sounds like a delicious hick."

Anywho.
I have read a lot of articles in LDS Living that have helped me- so in light of maybe paying it forward, I wrote the article.
I am not sure when it is going to be public, but if my name is attached to it, that would make this blog very searchable (how many white, non-stripper, Shaunte Wadley's do you know?) and open to anyone.
I have enjoyed flying under the radar.
I am making the blog private here in a few days, to respect Elder Brendan's privacy, and the privacy of his companions since he is still serving until July. Hopefully.
I would love to add whoever wants to keep reading.
Hit me up and I will add you.
I think? (I am pretty old-  I hope I can figure out the back end of the dashboard here.)

I'll keep posting. It is therapeutic for me to post, and work out my feelings through words.
And I have always thought that it is important for people to see real life.
It bothers me that in religion, and life in general, people hide the ugly things and try to paint a perfect picture. Social media has largely contributed to this unrealistic expectation.

I want people to feel like they are normal when they have ugly days. When you stay in your pajamas because showering seems like a chore. When your kids eat cold cereal for dinner out of Tupperware because every dish you own is piled up dirty in the sink.
When you swear a little, out loud or in your head.
Days when you feel unloved and unneeded, and heaven seems silent- like all of your prayers are bouncing back.
It's okay.
Life isn't perfect. It isn't supposed to be.
The ugly days are what defines our character, humbles us, and makes us strong.
(Elder Wadley is really earning some gainz. (<--gym talk))

Why yes, that is a Walmart Associate (ROLLBACK!) tag underneath his missionary tag. (eyeroll emoji)

It helps me to know that other peoples' lives are cracked sometimes too.
When I leak, I have people who patch me up, and I hope I do the same for others.

At the end of the day, we are all just walking each other home.

Missionary For Sale Part Two

I have been hesitant to post part two of the "Missionary For Sale" saga.
Partly because it is personal, and partly because I feel like I bag on Elder Brendan a lot.
For the record, Elder Brendan is a lot like me- very open and sarcastic, but underneath the tough outer shell is a pretty sensitive and deep kid.
I will share our exchange the following p-day (fresh from the call from his mission president) Warning, it's kind of long. Hold out, because there is a good story at the end of this post.
I am sharing because this is real life for us. Not every mission story is perfect.
This is still an 18 year old kid. And I am still a mom with a lot to learn myself.
(For those of you who read, and are not LDS, I have added links to parts of this that you might want clarification on. Or shoot me a message.)

hey yesterday the library was closed sorry well outside of the regular crap this week was as you know different and im sure you may be mad at me but i just wanna let you know that it really wasnt a big deal at all and everyone flipped for no reason what kind of house projects are you doing also who was that guy that showed up to my apt (more on this at the end of the post) lol that tripped me out i though it was another missionary for a sec so i was just sittin in my g top with out a care in the world then this surprise visitor shows up haha he was really nice though yeah any who plz email back lol

“i just wanna let you know that it really wasnt a big deal at all and everyone flipped for no reason” You still don’t get it.

what

I don’t know what you want me to say.
I pray every day for your safety. I pray every day for you to be obedient and to find joy in your service and limited time as a missionary.
Your choices negate all my prayers for you.
I don’t know how to be supportive.
I don’t know what to pray for.
I can’t alter your free agency.
If you don’t think it was a big deal- you aren’t humble or teachable.
Shay had a really good friend go on a mission several years ago. He was goofing around- and they were all killed.
Mission rules are twofold- to keep you safe (from physical harm and the adversary), and to invite the spirit to be with you always because of your obedience.

then quit praying for me so ill stop disappointing you and just dont worry about it im sorry im such a frickin disappointment all the time im sorry im a douche idk know what you want from me i really dont i try out here all the fetching time and every time i get shafted or fall short and all you ever here is the negative crap that goes down idk sorry

You’re right.
That’s all I ever do hear- because you don’t tell me anything.
I have very limited information.
Why are you so defensive.
Think about that for a minute.
You’ve never liked to be told what to do. Never.
Sometimes in life you have to follow stupid rules. Sometimes you have stupid people that are in positions over you that you just have to listen to.
The Lord is going to continue to teach you the same lessons again and again until you actually learn.
If you are sick of being reprimanded and transferred and babysat then maybe it’s time to look at why it keeps happening.

yeah youre right

You’re probably going to log off and be mad.
I’m not going to stop praying for you. I love you. I want you to have a good mission experience. But ultimately that is your choice.
It is disappointing when we get communication from your mission president where he expresses that he sees more potential in you, and had plans and hopes for you and that this is a set back.
We feel like you have that same potential. God have you talents and abilities that you could be really using to bless others. Being obedient is an internal thing. It’s integrity. It’s doing the right thing because it’s the right thing. You have to have that for the Lord to fully utilize you. You have to be willing to bend to His will.
It’s not about the mission rules making sense. It never has been. It’s about the willingness.
I just wish you’d get that. It’s a good lesson to learn in the gospel. It changes hearts and it gives you an opportunity to be His hands. There is no better feeling than being an answer to someone else’s prayers and knowing the lord chose YOU to do that for him.

i know im not going to log off emailing you is really the only i like through out the week and the ladies lol but my i got to be honest im so sick of being out here idk what else to do ive tried and tried and tried but everytime i get kicked down my mission president is hard on me the only potential he sees in me is raising numbers so he looks better im still trying dont worry I love indiana I love the people here but i hate the mission here if that makes sense

I’m going to tell you a story.
I sabotage myself in other ways.
I’ll eat really good and then like I’ll break open a pack of Oreos and one Oreo becomes three and then all of a sudden I have to finish the row. Then I think “you are such a pig, you suck.” Screw it. I suck. And then I eat crappy the rest of the day. I feel some measure of self loathing. And all the work I do at the gym is pretty much wasted time because I can’t control the one aspect in my life.
I follow a fitness account on Instagram and one day the dude posted this quote “you are always only one bite away from being right back on track.”
For whatever reason that resonated with me.
I don’t have to start my diet again the next day. Or the next Monday. I can be right back on track NOW. I can exercise willpower with every decision I make at any time.
As a result of this shift in thinking- I’ve lost 12 pounds. This is significant for me. I’ve been trying to get this last ten pounds off for two years.
When we apply that to the gospel- we can course correct several times a day if we need to. But we should never say “oh well, this is who I am, I suck.”
Cause guess who wins there?
Satan’s goal is not to make us sin- it’s to make us feel like we can’t come back. That we can’t course correct.

well shoot i do that all the time lol i do suck haha i hope you dont think im being sarcastic

You don’t suck.
You just sometimes have to say to the Lord- sorry about that- I’m ready for you now.
God is never surprised by anything you do. He gave you your weaknesses and He just needs you to ask him for His help to turn them into strengths. You don’t have to do that alone. He understands you. He made you that way. And He knows what you need to grow. Stop fighting Him. He can’t help you change if you keep rejecting Him.

i know it just sucks out here sometimes

My calling sucks.
But I have this mantle and the Lord needs me.
I’ve had to do hard things.
I never knew you could be spiritually exhausted.
It’s not about your mission president. It’s not about your companions.
It’s that the Lord called you and gave you the mantle. You have to answer to him for what you did with it.

yeah i know

Everything I tell you is out of love. I want the best for you. I want you to be happy. I want to help you avoid regret and disappointment. As your parent, I am entitled to revelation for you. I can’t do that with limited knowledge. You make that job hard. Lol.

mom i got to level with you emailing kinda sucks like talking to you doesnt but typing and crap super tedious thats why i dont send much

I know. But I could be a source of advice or help for you. And it could bring me happiness to hear of your success. I feel like we’ve missed out on an opportunity- that’s all.

And then the back and forth dissolved into normal chatter.
With one more butt reaming from me.
He popped onto a members phone and posted to Snapchat. (Eyeroll)
(Get your freaking butt off of social media!!)

Back to his surprise visitor.

I have a sweet neighbor and for whatever reason, well, I am not going to pretend that was coincidental either. The week I got the call from Brendan's mission president, this neighbor and I fell into each others' lives. It just so happened that her husband, who travels for work a lot- to a lot of different places- happened to be in Indianapolis.
Jokingly I said to her "you know that is where my naughty boy is serving, right? We should have your husband go over and pop him up the side of the head while he is there."
Well- we looked, you know, just for fun- and her husbands hotel was 17 minutes away from Elder Brendan's apartment.
So her husband went over there. Bless him.
When he got there, he wanted to accidentally put his phone on Facetime with me, but Elder Brendan's companion shut that plan down.
So I got this picture instead:

And this account:
"I knocked on the door and Elder Wadley's companion answered. Elder Wadley was just chilling on the couch in his garments."  I told him I was there to deliver a message to him from his mom. I asked him if he knew what it was and he said "Um, I can guess." Honestly your boy is so happy! You can just see it in his face. He is a great kid."

I don't know why it surprises me every time the Lord works a tiny miracle in my life.

For whatever reason, when I heard that account from my friends husband it struck me.
I need to butt out of this experience.
It is Brendan's.
And God's.
When he said "Elder Wadley was just chilling on the couch in his garments..." I realized that his mission is not a saving ordinance. It is an experience. He is still a really great kid!
When I try to force my will on Brendan, it just frustrates and disappoints us both.
He has free agency.
It is up to him to utilize it in his own way, not my way.
I feel like a huge burden is lifted.
I don't stress about him anymore.
I pray that the Lord will give him what he needs, and I let that ride.

I wonder how many times the Lord has waited on me.
Wondering if I will ever "get it."
Regretting that I have free agency.
That I squander opportunities.
That I am disobedient.
That I need to get my freaking butt off of social media?

So when I say a mission experience is real life here, I mean I have learned some hard things too.
If we both come out of this better people, then I guess its a win.

Missionary For Sale

This blog has died a little the past month.
Elder Brendan is still in Indiana, barely.

Let me give you a little sample of what I have to deal with.

Me: You’re killing me

Him: Why

Me: Let’s reverse this.

Ask me a question.

Him: how is shayne

Me:Your answer would be: good

My answer: he’s a good kid. He goes to the temple with friends pretty often. Consistently reads the scriptures. He is going to be a good missionary. I worry about him being a doofus though. He is still pretty blonde when it comes to practical things. I taught him how to sew the other day. He did okay. And then he said “mom if I have to sew I’ll just ask a nice lady in the ward” so maybe he’s going to be okay.

Him: i think hes pretty smart and i dont know how shayne is thats why i asked so my answer would actually be idk

Me: My point is- I ask you questions hoping to spark a conversation and you don’t really respond. Just try once I’m begging. 

Like the one time you copied and pasted the stuff you wrote your mission president was more info then I've gotten your whole mission so I know that you are capable. 

Him: sorry my bad i dont know what to talk about so sorry

This is largely why the blog died.
And this is why he is barely in Indiana
You're going to want to click on this:

But wait!
There's more!
Apparently he turned off the governor (a device that is used to monitor speed) to the car- it was (sarcastic finger quotes) "malfunctioning."
And when his mission president was explaining what a terrible liability position he put the mission in, he said "Nothing would have happened, I am a really good driver."
Mmmmkay.
Not going to get the chance to prove that one FOR THE REST OF YOUR MISSION.
 
I am just going to leave everyone with this picture of him, volunteering for Special Olympics. We all need a reminder that he *is* doing some good.

I probably need to clarify that he was helping with Special Olympics, not participating.
You probably want to click on that picture too.
Soak in the sock/flip flip goodness.

I should have named this blog Idiot in Indiana. For reals.

The One With Some DIY

I asked Elder Wadley how he made his ties, and that I wanted photos.

Instead he sent me an instructional video:

In case you missed it- here is a screenshot. His tie is about six feet long. I am not sure what is going on here, but hey- Brendan.

The e-mail this week:

this was a goodish week we got a lot of people to teach right now umm but our ward had a summer olympic activity recently and lol it was funny it started off as a train wreck but ended up being fun i dont mean to brag but i took gold in the shot put and high dive event and me and stallings bronzed the equestrian so that was good lol um other then that pretty normal week

I would PAY to have pictures of this Olympics crap.
He has been working on additional crafts as well. (WHATTHECRAP) I thought maybe one of my daughters would pick up my creative gene. Not my son.
Here I present an Altoids tin, converted into a speaker box:

And the the pièce de résistance: hand-stitched tee shirt couch repair. Really. Click on the picture and marvel at his sewing skills.

I see a lot of post-mission career paths here.

The One With Sewing Skills

This post needs a background story, so indulge me a little this week.
We've always encouraged our kids to be independent. This includes them taking care of their own school schedule, so we were a little taken back when Brendan enrolled himself in a sewing class. On purpose. I am not sure if he was in it for the girl to boy ratio of the class or what- but there he was.

The first we knew about it was because he needed fabric Monday morning. We were told this on Saturday night- and had to make a midnight Walmart run. This fabric was used to make a pillowcase. Now, in true Brendan fashion, he procrastinated the many steps to the pillowcase. While cramming for the final grade- one day, he walked into sewing class to a substitute teacher.
Brendan is never one to turn down opportunity.
He spent that class period furiously completing his whole pillowcase.

Let's chat about this pillowcase.
It was supposed to be rectangular, with rolled edge trim and a cuff.
Brendan created more of an elongated triangle.
The cuff and rolled trim end sloped down to a tighter end- one that would never allow space for an actual pillow. The cuff was gathered in some places, the rolled trim stuck out in spiky random areas, and non-existent in others. There was one area along a seam where you could tell that the feed dogs on the machine took the fabric down, and tore it. This hole was marked with a half inch of balled and tangled up thread on both ends. Brendan took the hole and just went back and forth over it until it was kinda closed up.
This pillowcase was amazing as you can imagine.
I took pictures somewhere and I actually set the thing aside to present to his future bride.
It has since disappeared. I suspect sadly, that it found it's way into the trash by its creator.
The baffling thing was that he got a B on that sucker.
When I asked him how- he said "I took it up to the substitute teacher. I told her I was so proud of myself because I had never sewn anything in my whole life."
He earned a PITY GRADE, people.
He worked the system!
The real teacher came back, never saw the project, the grade was over and done, and he didn't have to spend another minute on it.
I didn't know whether to be mad at him, or proud of him.

With that in mind, here is his e-mail this week, and a little back and forth between us.
(One more thing. I had mentioned to him that on our family road trip this week, Sam got our old yet reliable mini-van up to 100 mph. That will explain the first horrifying line.)

hola madre ill be in kokomo for 6 more weeks one time i got the van to 120 what who said that lol any way this week was good we put someone on date for baptism ummmmmmidk mom im sorry i suck at emailing but honestly i get to this ol computer lab every week and im like wtf did i do this week sorry umm i went on exchanges with elder johnstone hes cool he came out one after i did i really like him i also made some ties this week i bought some fabric from the old walmart and well just made some ties so thats cool 

What.  I want pictures of the Walmart ties you made!! Did you use a sewing machine?

no its all hand stitched i dont have pics ill send them next week if i remember

How the frack long did it take you to hand sew a tie?

like from start to finish it took me like 3 hours i do it when were in for the night

I have to see this. Mostly cause I remember your pillow case.

yeah yeah yeah whatever the ties are easy

The One With Molten Glass

On my bucket list is Venice, Italy.
I have always wanted to see this city for obvious reasons, but also to go out to the island of Murano- where they have world famous glass artisans.
So.
Who would have guessed that Elder Wadley's current area in Indiana- Kokomo, is another famous place for artisan glass?
Elder Brendan visited the glass factory last week. He sent photos and a couple of video clips. This factory has been in operation since the 1800's.
So I guess I no longer need Venice. I just need Indiana! Or something.
Here are his words this week (thank goodness he sent video and photos, because the words are, as always, limited.)

its been a pretty typical week we found a family that we can start teaching hopefully so thats pretty exciting um this morning we toured the kokomo glass factory so that was sweet its the oldest glass factory built in like the 1800s and stuff so that was dope um and yeah we had zone conference this week but other then that same old stuff

He also learned how to make dream catchers from his companion, Elder Stallings. From the look on his face- he's pretty proud of his new talent. I also took notice of his chin hair stubble? This is a strange observation as I have been a missionary mom. I send my kids out as babies, who barely need a razor, and they come back all 5:00 shadow-y. It's weird.
I am hoping this doesn't happen to Shianne, my daughter. ;)

The glass factory, Kokomo Opalescent Glass makes sheet glass:

as well as traditional glass sculpture and blowing.

Here is one of the video clips he sent. I was a tad concerned about the little worker guys dripping molten glass all over the floor? They told Brendan that it just sweeps up at the end of the day. I would be the person to dribble it all over my feet.
A good week in Kokomo.