Adventures in Indiana: The One That Could Be Graphic To Sensitive Readers

Rather than do a whole lot of explaining about Elder Brendan's adventures this week, I am just going to copy and paste from the weekly e-mail that I get from Sister Klisse Foster. She is a very descriptive and colorful writer- she almost makes you want your own farm. Almost.

She has award winning show goats- the whole process is fascinating to me. It is the season for sperm collection. (I don't know why it makes me blush to type that.) They collect, process and freeze the sperm. From what I understand people line up to buy it from them to cross breed with their goats.

I swear, life is funny- I never knew any of this, and now I know probably more than I want to. Ha! Here are portions from Sister Foster's group e-mail:

Saturday was a beautiful day for collecting, not cold or hot or rainy. I offered the remaining 4 people to help with the strawing, which involves putting a couple of the empty straws down into the extended semen and using your mouth to suck the semen up into them, kind of like sucking a roach of marijuana or small cigarette (as seen on tv, of course!!!!) till you hear the semen pop against the cotton plugs in the end. NOTE: there is NO way of getting this in your mouth- it just sounds and looks very, very bad!!! Then you take the straws and put them on a bubbler comb to put an airspace so it doesn’t explode when frozen, dip the open end in sealant, then into the goblet, on the cane, and wrapped up in the fridge, to cool for the night. I have offered to let missionaries suck before, which they have always declined. This year, though, when I asked, Sister Peterson volunteered right away, thus gender shaming the elders! You go, Sister P!
She did a couple of straws, while the elders watched avidly. They finally gave in when they saw that Sister Peterson didn’t drop over dead (or worse!). They ended up each trying some- Eschler, Wadley and Wallace. I got pics of each one, too!

From a personal e-mail that Sister Foster sent to me:

Here are a few more pics from Saturday. I decided not to post the "sucking" ones to FB- just sent a few out with the email and holding the others for slow weeks/cookbook pics/potential blackmail.
I asked him several times if I could cut his hair, and even told him that you wanted me to, and he politely declined with that phrase he said you taught him, saying you were going to love your words coming back to haunt you.;-) I told him that I was a professional groomer- 200+ goats a year, plus my family- and would have no problem doing his hair while we were waiting for the centrifuge to finish. The sisters said he is trying to see how long he can get away with his hair.
He liked my chicken sign, ("Don't Trust Chickens They Can Be Real Peckers") and when Sister F left the barn to search out Scooter (a baby goat), guess where I saw him?!? Over Wadley's shoulder while everyone was watching the fire get going.:-) I didn't have my phone out there- too afraid I will lose it when feeding hay or the goats will slam into me when milking and shatter the glass- but told him he should take a pic of them together.
I don't think he would have done the strawing if everyone else there hadn't done it, too. He was the last one to go of the four in there. Sister Peterson said the elders have been giving them flack for being girls, so when she had the chance to show them up, she jumped on it. She didn't even hesitate when I asked. Wadley just kept repeating over and over, "This feels so wrong," and Eschler was doing nothing, so my friend Evy had him gather up all the straw ends that I was cutting off. He would pick some up, throw them away, and wash his hands (the semen made them a little wet!! Hahaha!), just to do another batch, so he was a little freaked out by it as well.
I need to see when they want to smite chickens- since Bruce is out of town again, they will have to come with the car and use some of their miles. The rest of the little roosters (too little to be worth the trouble of butchering- google "Japanese bantams" and see- they are very pretty, too- the ones getting butchered are a full sized Buff Orpington guy and two Cochin bantams) will be going to the sale barn on Saturday morning. Will get pics of that, too.
Anyhow, have a great week

Klisse

I just love her! Elder Brendan has been in Terre Haute now for about 4.5 months, which is a long time for a missionary to be in one area. Transfers are coming up on the 22nd. I know he would like some change, and it would be good for him- but I also know he is going to miss this farm, and this sweet second mama to him.
Klisse has been such a blessing to him, and to me.

As far as e-mails from Elder Brendan- this one was short:

hey mom this week has been really interesting we went on a 2 and a half day exchange i was with elder Wallace hes a cool guy it went really well we taught a lot of people and had a good time other then that its been a typical week oh also i accidentally deleted all of elder darringtons pictures :/ anyways love you and stuff

Elder Wadley, Sister Peterson sucking straws.

You sent a photo of a goat. Is that before it gets um, injected?

nope thats the bait goat male goats come up to it and when they go in for the business brother foster puts their little goat erections into an artificial vagina and yeah

(Nervous laugh)
Farm life, huh?